


You deserve to know

by LordFlausch



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, But also kinda during it, Earthborn (Mass Effect), F/F, Friendship, Liara doesn't deserve this but I'm evil, Pre-Suicide Mission, Shepard could die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 17:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18287099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordFlausch/pseuds/LordFlausch
Summary: Liara recieves a message from Shepard just before the Suicide Mission.





	You deserve to know

„Shadow Broker, you've got a new message on your terminal.“

Liara's eyes take a moment off of the data pad she is holding and onto Glyph, who hovers next to her, before she focuses back on the written information.

“Can it wait?”

“The sender is not on your 'ignore until later' list, Shadow Broker.”

“Who sent it?”

“A certain Commander Shepard, Shadow Broker.”

Her head almost immediately flies up, fixing the VI.

“Open it.”

An image of the woman she loves appears in the room, looking rather nervous, far away from the calm, collected mood she's used to, or the soft, loving side only Liara gets to see, or even the aspects she's only begun to see last time, worrying about the lives and chance of all people that rely on her, not as confident as she appears all the time. It's entirely different and yet... it seems to have aspects of all. This Shepard seems sad, anxious, restless as she doesn't begin to speak immediately, but sighs.

_“I... I don't know how to start this, Liara.”_

She sighs again, looking to a place behind her, as if making sure no one could come in and see her this way.

_“I've tried multiple times but I couldn't get it right. EDI is the only one witnessing this, and I've told her to delete this message from any of the Normandy's protocols as soon as you have it. You could say what you get to see here is a unique insight into the 'great Commander Shepards' emotions”_

For a moment, an almost humorless smirk blinks over the Commander's face.

_“You deserve it though. You deserve to know everything I'm about to tell you, as I might never get the chance to say it otherwise._  
_Joker says we'll be arriving at Omega 4 in about 2 hours. Make that one and a half now. I'm about to go on a suicide mission and I might die again. This time, I'll be prepared, though. I've coded a message to the Alliance and the Council about what happened in the last months, why I did what I did and that if I should die, I want part of my money to go to the charity on earth that takes care of street kids like I've been. The other part will be yours, should you need it. I'll send you my bank details with this.”_

A pause. After a few seconds, the image releases a breath and turns her head to the ground. 

_“Liara, I'm... I'm so scared. My crew's been abducted by the collectors, save for Joker. What if I'm too late? And I don't want any of my squad to die. I'm so scared I could fail them. Fail the whole galaxy. And... Fail you.”_

Liara wants to run to her and tell her Shepard could never fail her. She wants to hold the Commander in her arms and tell her it's going to be okay. But she can't. 

_“But that's... that's not what I wanted to say. I.. I wanted to thank you. For everything. For the few nights we had when we met again. Feeling you inside my mind, feeling us being one... For not giving me up even though I was dead for two years. I've caused you pain I don't want to imagine myself and I might cause that again. I'm so sorry, my love. Damn, I should have begun calling you that sooner. It can't exactly be a coincidence “Liara” and “love” start with the same letter in my language. I love you. I love you so much. Whatever happens, please always keep that in mind. Ugh, I don't know when I became that sappy.”_

The image shudders, but humor has stolen itself into her eyes. The soft side of Shepard, only for her eyes to see. 

__“The possibility of being dead soon might play a role in that. It's hard to leave you alone again. I wanted to come back to you one time before I went through that shit, but my crew... I fear if I don't hurry, I'll be too late. But now... it's hard to accept the last time we saw could have been the last time I kissed you. Damn, I wanted to give you a far better goodbye. One that you would remember through all centuries of your life. There are so many things I still want to tell you, but finding the right words to do that could take me more time than I have left. You know I can't do words as well as actions. Wish I could meld with you so you can feel everything of that. Or kiss you. That might work too. Fuck, I miss both.”_ _

__

__

Only when a chuckle comes past Liara's lips, she realizes she started to cry. 

_“You have changed my life, Liara. For the better. You made me believe in myself and in my team. You saved my life – and my body. Heh. You made me realize the goal is not always worth the prize. After all, there is someone I would never give up, and be it for the sake of the galaxy. Although part of me makes me rethink that. But without you, there's almost nothing in this galaxy worth saving.”_

“Shepard, you..." 

A sob escapes from Liara's lips, but she tries to swallow her pain and watch it to the end. Crying could come after. 

_“Fuck, Liara. I want to live. I want to come out of there just so I can kick the Illusive Man's ass into the fucking star he keeps hovering around, to go to the council and have the next best “I fucking told you so” moment, to end this fucking war because I know it won't be over after this, to make peace and most importantly... I... I made you a promise, didn't I? I promised you to come back. And even though I said it jokingly, I want to get old with you, marry, and have lots of blue children. Not necessarily in that order, but you get the image. Knowing I might not be able to keep that promise gives me nightmares, and I'm not even sleeping.”_

The image sniffs, and Liara realizes Shepard is crying too. 

_“I... I don't want you to hurt. It took a lot out of me just to send this. Because I might come back and all your worrying could've been for nothing, right? And yet... I might not. And then... you would deserve a goodbye at least. So, Shadow Broker... Dr. T'Soni... Liara... my love... I wish you all the best in the galaxy. You of all people deserve it. Goodbye. I'll see you again, one way or another. I promise. And... and should I drift off, know I died with your name on my lips.”_

“Liara?” 

She wordlessly shakes her head and gestures to Glyph to do something, anything. 

“Shadow Broker, you received a message from Commander Shepard. She said goodbye.” 

__Another sob wrenches itself past Liara's lips. Feron places a hand on her shoulder for comfort, and she turns towards him, crying into his shoulder._ _

__“Hey, hey...”_ _

__He (kind of awkwardly) starts to rub her back._ _

__“I haven't seen much of Shepard, but if there is one thing I can tell you, then... she's tough. She'll come back.”_ _

__“No one ever came back from there.”_ _

__“Hm. Did you not tell me it's like her job to master impossible things?”_ _

__“Yes, but...”_ _

__“Have faith in her.”_ _

__“I... I will try.”_ _

__“Do you... want to talk about her?”_ _

__Liara snorts and wipes away some tears from her eyes._ _

__“What would you even want to know?”_ _

__“How did you fall for her? I know how you met her, I know that she's practically a living legend, and I know you two are together. But... how did that happen?”_ _

__A smile slowly appears on the Asari's face._ _

__“When we met on Therum, I was... intrigued. I'd never really seen a human before – not that close, that is – so I was... naturally curious. Although I quite embarrassed myself when I talked to her on the Normandy afterwards.”_ _

__She covers her face at the sheer memory of it._ _

__“Goddess, that was awkward. But she... I expected her to be offended by that, but she... just wasn't. Instead, she chuckled. And I, well, I rather liked that noise. She came to talk to me more often and showed interest in me and Asari culture, even though I overheard some of her crew talking about me only being on board for information on my mother. She took me with her on missions and even went out of her way if I found anything that could be related to Protheans. I came to like her.”_ _

__“Was there a moment when you thought she likes you too?”_ _

__“Of course. She came to talk to me often.”_ _

__“No, I mean... more than that.”_ _

__“Apart from the fact when we talked about it...”_ _

__She takes a moment to consider._ _

__“Yes, one, if you decide to count it. We were on the Citadel and we had something to do involving Chora's Den.”_ _

__“That... club?”_ _

__“Yes. I made a remark about those places often hiring Asari, and I saw her stealing a glimpse or two at some of them. And she looked at me as if she was trying to imagine how I'd look in such a... suit.”_ _

__“And that made you think she had romantic interest in you?”_ _

__Liara chuckles, taking a second to go back and remember that moment._ _

__“No, but it at least made it clear she is into women and found me... not bad to look at.”_ _

__She chuckles again, and Feron admits her point with a nod._ _

__“Would you continue your story?”_ _

__“When we melded our minds so I could help with her visions, for a moment I saw how deep her character was. I became aware of a great conflict within her, but I didn't see further than that, she blocked me out. I was...”_ _

__“Intrigued?”_ _

__Liara laughs shortly._ _

__“Yes, you could say so. She proved to be even more interesting than I originally thought. In that night, I had a dream about her involving... a more intimate meld. It was confusing to think about someone that way, and at that, someone I respected and came to care about.”_ _

__“Did your feelings change after what happened with Matriarch Benezia?”_ _

__The Asari's face becomes painful for a moment._ _

__“That time was... troubling. I knew Shepard wanted to save her, but it... it wasn't enough. Sovereign was too strong. As soon as we got back to the ship, I... retreated. She came to me. Just stood there in silence for a moment, not talking. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then waited for me to start a conversation or ask her to go. I did neither... so she stayed. Sat down behind a shelf where I didn't have to see her. But when she heard me sob that night, she came closer and sat on the back end of my bed. I felt her warmth... it radiated from her, powerful and yet gentle. And at some point, I sat up and after looking at me, she just opened her arms.”_ _

__Liara smiles softly, sighing._ _

__“I will never forget that hug. She didn't really say anything, but just... held me. I clung to her, I even clawed at her back a bit- “_ _

__“I do not want to know any intimate details of-”_ _

__“Feron, I was sobbing. I was in pain. I cried and clutched her and nothing else happened.”_ _

__“Oh. Okay. Go on.”_ _

__“Afterwards, she talked to me about her. Made me remember all the happy moments with her. Asked if I needed anything else. I asked her to stay and woke up in her arms.”_ _

__“And did you know it then?”_ _

__“I knew I had begun to develop feelings for her. We talked about that a few days after, and agreed not to rush anything – We had both too much on our minds. I was nervous, but also excited, because she didn't turn me down. We continued like before, somewhat. Went on missions together, talked a lot, such things. I overheard Kaidan Alenko asking her about me and she replied it was none of his business. In almost the same breath, she... kindly told him he would be better off not ever laying a hand on me.”_ _

__“Heh. Did he?”_ _

__“Would you?”_ _

__“If Shepard had threatened me?”_ _

__The Drell looks worried for a moment._ _

__“See? You can imagine how Alenko behaved.”_ _

__“What came after that?”_ _

__“Well, the closer we got to defeating Saren, the closer we got to each other... I went to her cabin before we landed on Ilos and... we melded. It was so beautiful, knowing this wonderful human was going to be mine... In that moment, I'd have been utterly convinced nothing would ever defeat us, but I was... occupied elsewhere.”_ _

__She chuckles, and the Drell clears his throat._ _

__“And what happened after you won?”_ _

__“We stayed on the Normandy, together. It was a wonderful time, even though there were some mildly life-threatening situations with the Geth.”_ _

__“And when she... died?”_ _

__Liara pauses for a moment, her eyes closing in pain._ _

__“You know, I heard her dying, Feron. I heard every desperate breath until there was no air left for her. It was... I still can't think about it. The part that breaks my heart most is that I think I heard her trying to say my name.”_ _

__“Her last thoughts must have been of you.”_ _

__“... she told me so. I grieved for her, I got the offer from Cerberus, we found her body. Seeing that... I was tempted to break down.”_ _

__“You showed surprisingly few emotions.”_ _

__“I couldn't risk those things to show. I cried when I was alone.”_ _

__“And when she came back to you?”_ _

__“I... was so surprised. The rumors were true, but she was there, really there. I couldn't resist kissing her. Soon enough, I remembered my job, my wish to find you and the fact a part of me was still grieving, so I... didn't act on what we could rekindle. She offered her help to find you. And while she tried to talk to me during that trip, I shut her down. So much she even asked me if we had something when the Yahg Shadow Broker was dead.”_ _

__Feron laughs._ _

__“But I'm sure you showed her just how wrong she was.”_ _

__“I did. After telling her I am, in human words, taken. We talked about us and agreed on having drinks on the Normandy. And...”_ _

__“... exquisitely rekindled your relationship.”_ _

__“That for sure is one way of expressing that. She promised me she'd always come back to me. You know she visited us one time after that and promised to show again before the suicide mission.”_ _

__“I barely got sleep that night.”_ _

__“Me neither...”_ _

__Realizing what she said, Liara blushes._ _

__“Trust me, I'm very well aware of that.”_ _

__“I will kill her for causing this very moment to happen.”_ _

__“Don't tell me you regret that night. From the sounds, it seemed like you never would.”_ _

__Liara clears her throat._ _

__“Different topic, please?”_ _

__Feron chuckles._ _

__“If you wish. It seems Shepard promised you a lot. Did she ever not keep one of those promises?”_ _

__“No. She always kept them.”_ _

__“And now, she has quite a few that will make her come back. Trust your bondmate, Liara.”_ _

__The Asari's eyes close for a moment while she breathes out, and a hopeful smile spreads on her cheeks._ _

__“Yes, I will.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Originally planned to let it end with Shepard returning to her. Liked this version better.  
> Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
